I got my undergraduate degree in film from BYU.
Now I am at GMU pursuing a master’s in International Security and a graduate certificate in Cyber Security.
Whoa, that’s different. Yeah, it is.
How did I get here? I spent two years in what I call a quarter-life crisis; I love film but was it worth all the job searching and unpaid work to get where I wanted to go? I always thought I would be married when I graduated and I wasn’t, so would I base what I did next in life on how likely it would get me wedded? What did I want to do? All I knew is I couldn’t live life on a treadmill. I wanted to do something that would stretch me, that I would love, and that would do good.
This time after graduation was a crisis because since 9th grade I had had my whole life planned. I knew I wanted to be a filmmaker. I got accepted to all the colleges I applied to, I got accepted into the film program, I was on my way. I had my plan and it was working out. Until it suddenly didn’t. I didn’t want to quit, especially something I was passionate about. So I went through a whole lot of soul-searching to decided where I wanted to go and how I wanted to get there.
I decided I wanted to work for the government. I had no desire to work in politics–and still don’t–but I wanted to be involved in decision making and the things that directly affect our country. I decided I wanted to be an analyst. I didn’t fully know what that was but I researched and learned enough to help me decide that it was worth the student loans I would have to take out for grad school.
I’ll be honest, it has felt like I have been swimming upstream the entire time. What do I have that qualifies me for this work that I want to do? I miraculously was accepted into a master’s program that only accepted 25 and had over 1,000 applicants. But what is going to get me hired in the field? I am spending most of my time trying to develop skills I never thought I would have to–or even want to–develop.
Aside from the credentials, there are the logistics. How am I going to pay to do this? How am I going to make life work in a big, expensive city? What happens if I don’t get a job by the time I graduate? Luckily I have felt divinely guided in my personal path. I still don’t know how it will work out but I have no doubt that it will.
I am sharing my blog mostly to keep my mother, grandmother, and a few others updated, but also to share life as a single adult. Less of us are getting married before leaving BYU and more of us are finding ourselves pursuing a career. None of us know what we are doing and all of us are trying to figure out which path to take. No matter how exciting or adventurous life may look from the outside, there are always struggles and less-than-silver linings; we should never be too jealous of someone else’s life. But at the same time, life is super fun and exciting, married or single.
So here I am, doing something I never ever thought I’d be doing in a place I never thought I’d be in. It is funny how life works. I miss the mountains and the desert and find myself getting sentimental over car commercials where they drive through the sagebrush-covered land. But I am learning to love the eastern United States and soaking up the fun that city-living brings while I can. I am learning a lot and very literally faking it till I make it.
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” –Mark Twain